Getting back up.

I sat here and looked at the blinking cursor for a solid 10 minutes before I had the courage to even write this first sentence. Where to begin? The word that comes to mind to describe the last 2 months of my life is “struggle.” Or maybe “fight.” “Survive.” “Live.”

I could go into detail about what’s happened. I could elucidate and point fingers and stomp my foot and lament on how unfair life is sometimes. I could go on to say that sometimes decisions get made for you. Sometimes you go to bed one evening thinking everything is fine and that you’re on the right path and that the life you’ve chosen so carefully for yourself is a good one. And then sometimes you wake up the next morning to find that the foundation has been rotting away for months, unbeknownst to half of the party.

It felt as if a bucket of ice water had been dumped over my head, reducing me to yet another millennial statistic. A house, a piece of paper, a white gold band, a surname reduced from eight letters to four, all arbitrary, symbolic, now meaningless. A brain that had rewired itself to make decisions based on coexisting with another person was left bereft and grasping at how to function. The terms “we,” “us,” and “our” were no longer relevant. The queen sized bed seemingly spanned the space of two miles without someone next to me. How would I show my face in a town where I knew everyone?

My first instinct was to run. I steeled my nerves, angrily shooed away the tears falling down my cheeks, and I called my best friend. I called her and I told her that I could not face the pitiful looks, the inquiries, the shock and unwarranted advise from people with the best intentions but the least tact. I couldn’t bear to hear, “You’re so young. You’ll find another husband.” “There’s someone out there for you.” Or, worse still, hear someone tear down a man I gave my life and soul to because that person thought it’s what I needed to hear.

So I prepared to flee. I counted my pennies and mentally packed what I knew I could fit in two suitcases and I prepared to leave.

But then I got sick. My body, in its reaction to the emotional trauma paired with exposure to 156 children 5 days a week, made a decision for me. Two rounds of antibiotics, a steroid shot, no voice, unable to sleep, unable to eat. I broke down mentally and physically. In the lowest point of a life filled with more valleys than peaks, I was broken down.

One fitfully sleepless, codeine-laden evening, I dreamt of a bird. Nothing else, just a bird of indeterminate species. It landed on a branch, ruffling its feathers and tucking its wings by its sides as it settled in for sleep. The bird closed its eyes and I opened mine.

I woke well before my alarm and stared, wide eyed, at the ceiling for two or three hours, listening to my dogs snoring beside me. The sun came up, and I took my daily antibiotic, made a cup of strong black coffee, and sat silently in my kitchen floor for another couple of hours.

Then I picked up my phone and called The Yellow Bird, a gardening and gift shop in Downtown Dalton.

Because I worked for the Downtown Development Authority, I knew where there are quite a few lofts above many shops and businesses. Somewhat numbly, I asked the owner of The Yellow Bird, Sally, if she had any apartments available. Much to my disbelief, she affirmed that her middle unit was available, and that two other people had expressed interest. Those apartments don’t stay open very long, and I had called at the exact right moment.

Three days later, I signed the lease and began moving all of my belongings into my first apartment. Two days later, I was out of our house completely and living on my own for the first time in my entire life. I made the decision to stay, for at least a year, to save money, figure out what I want to do, and to live unbeholden to anyone in the comfort of a town I know inside and out.

I won’t say the past two months have been entirely bad. If you’ve seen me out and about, I don’t look woebegone. I remind myself to smile because the alternative is to sink down and stay there. I have relied heavily on my friends, who have done a stellar job of checking in on me, yet remembering to not handle me with kid gloves. I have made a few new friends.

So I vow to not stay away as long from My Crunchy Crusade. I have been so terrified to put this awful year into words. What started out as a positive year turned into tragedy around June, when I lost my job at U.S. Xpress and my relationship started to unravel at the seams. But I have also been through some amazing changes, like directing “The Great Gatsby” at Dalton Little Theatre and starting a brand new job at the Whitfield County-Dalton Day Care Center. Both of these topics will be explored in future posts, I promise.

But for now, I’ll leave you, dear reader, with some notes of hope from this most trying of eras.

I am obsessed with my new apartment. I walk to work every single day, half a mile each way. I have lost 15 pounds. I have started to enjoy the person I am for what seems like the first time in my life. And with the changing of the season, my perception has changed of the cooling weather and dying leaves.

“Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald.

This is one of my favorite lines from “The Great Gatsby.” I’ve always thought of fall as a sad time, when all of the leaves start dropping from the trees, the air becomes sharper, and the world takes on a more somber, muted palette. Even the word itself, “fall,” can also be defined as “a move downward, typically rapidly and freely without control.” That’s why I’ve always been so intrigued by Jordan Baker’s line to Daisy Buchanan.

Now more than ever, I think it’s important to try to shift my perspective from mourning the autumnal change to welcoming the first steps of the process of living a brand new life. But like the leaves which have no choice in taking their tumble from the tops of their cozy, supportive homes, so must I brave the journey to the bottom to become stronger for my ascent back to the top. 

Peace,
The Crunchy Crusader

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Galavanting in Greenville

I have a new city to add to my list of favorite places: Greenville, South Carolina! Though it was a rather short trip, I fell in love with the city. With so many beautiful sights, delicious food, and lovely public art, Greenville is a city I will definitely be returning to soon!

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Adopting this as one of my new mottos: “Whatever you are, be a good one.” This was found on the side of The Escape Artist. The mural was created by Stone Academy of Communication Arts and Furman University.

Billy and I went to visit his best friend of 8 years, Lawrence, for his birthday! Lawrence has been living in Greenville for about half a year, and had nothing but wonderful things to say about it. He very graciously hosted us from Friday evening to this morning, and showed us some highlights of the city.

We explored Falls Park, a couple of breweries, and some delightful bars and restaurants, including the Bohemian Cafe, Lazy Goat (where I had the BEST Brussels sprouts of my life), Swamp Rabbit Brewery in Travelers Rest, the Velo Fellow, Braswells, Pour, Sully’s Steamers, Universal Joint, Barley’s, Trappe Door, and, my favorites: The Village Grind and GB&D. (Yep, we saw a lot in a short amount of time!)

We also visited Horizon Records, where I found four of my absolute favorite albums for a very great price: The Beatles’ “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” and “Rubber Soul” (my two favorite Beatles albums); The Postal Service’s “Give Up,” and Green Day’s “American Idiot.”
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There were a number of notable delicacies at the places we visited: the best Brussels sprouts of my life at the Lazy Goat (Crispy Brussels Sprouts with speck ham, shaved Manchego, and sherry glacé); the Raspberry White Ale at the Swamp Rabbit Brewery (light and refreshing, with raspberries added to the second fermentation- perfect for a hot day); the Swamp Rabbit BBQ bagel at Sully’s Steamers (They’re famous for their steamed bagel sandwiches; this one had turkey, cheddar, provolone, onion, green peppers & BBQ sauce. Other notable names of sandwiches include the Bob Loblaw, California Steamin’, and Big Deddy); and, one of my new favorite meals ever, the Chicken and Waffles from GB&D (with hot maple glaze and bacon jam). Don’t worry: we walked all of the delicious food and beer off!

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Pink beer at the Swamp Rabbit Brewery in Travelers Rest!

A true pleasure was visiting The Village Grind, a trendy coffee shop in West Greenville owned by a woman I went to high school with, Lindsey (George) Montgomery. All of the memories I have of her place her in my mind as a creative, talented, and beautiful person, and her shop is so reflective of that. The cozy space was decorated with eclectic artwork and furniture, tons of plants, and cute knick-knacks, so I was in heaven! Her menu had your classics, macchiatos, americanos, cafe au lait; but she also had new and fun twists on coffee, like the rose cardamom latte. GB&D (which stands for Golden, Brown and Delicious), the home of the life-changing chicken and waffles, adjoins the space and is owned by her brother and father. It was so great to get to see her briefly and give her a huge squeeze! (And I enjoyed a very, very tasty cafe au lait.)

I’ve included links to all of the places we visited at the end of this post, in case you want to try any of the places out on your next visit to Greenville!

Hanging out with Lawrence and their friend Parker made for a very entertaining weekend! I always love seeing how happy Billy is when he’s with his buddies and hearing all of the hilarious stories from when they co-opped at Shaw together. Nothing brings me more joy than seeing my husband in a place that’s new and foreign to the both of us, and watching him feel completely at home. I’m constantly in awe of how lucky I am!

And so concludes another week. Each time we return from a trip, I find myself planning the next one! I’ve been bitten by the travel bug, and feel so lucky to be able to take these short trips and see new places.

I’m sitting here now, with my cat snuggled up to me. My turkey and sweet potato chili that I prepared earlier has filled the house with a lovely aroma as it cools before I portion it out for my lunches this week. My Daily Habit Tracker is made in my Bullet Journal for the month of May, so I can get started with it tomorrow. I’m sipping a cocktail. I literally could not ask for anything more at this moment.

My wish for you, reader, is that you revel in the small pleasures of life. I’m learning to. And I urge you to take a deep breath. Just breathe the joy in. Let it permeate your being, and exhale the stresses of the previous week. It’s a brand new month, a brand new day, tomorrow. Make it great.

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Love,
The Crunchy Crusader

 

http://thelazygoat.com/
http://www.theswamprabbitbrewery.com/
http://www.eatgbnd.com/
http://thebohemiancafe.com/
http://thevelofellow.com/
https://www.greenville.brazwellspub.com/
https://horizonrecords.net/
http://www.sullyssteamers.com/
https://www.facebook.com/thevillagegrind/
http://www.barleysgville.com/
http://trappedoor.com/
Info about the flowers mural: http://blog.escapeartistgreenville.com/stone-avenue-mural-makes-our-days-brighter

Another weekend, another adventure.

As I come to the close of another week, I sit back, contented. Another week of hard work, of adjusting to the rigors of my new job, adjusting to the commute and finding my place in the organization, has come to pass.

This past weekend, I had the immense pleasure of spending time with my dear friends, Adam and Jess, in their little paradise in Pine Lake, Georgia. Just outside of the perimeter of Atlanta, near Stone Mountain, is a hippie’s oasis. It’s tiny and seemingly far removed from the noisy, messy city, full of lush green trees and quirky houses, with a small lake in the middle.

Billy took his annual trip to Tellico, TN, to spend time with his father and former coworkers from Broadway Carpets up in Knoxville. On a whim, which is in line with most of the excursions I’ve taken this year, I asked Adam and Jess if it would be okay if I third-wheeled them for the weekend. Graciously, they said yes, and I enjoyed some refreshing downtime with two of my very favorite people.

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We went to Avondale Estates for breakfast on Saturday, and I found this lovely mural!

I ventured down on Friday evening and came home this afternoon. Luckily, I wasn’t waylaid on my trip down or back up, I’m glad to say. I also watched “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly” for the first time, and swooned over Clint Eastwood for three hours.

I’ve also started Bullet Journaling! I’ve been online researching all sorts of ideas, and have started off with a few really cool pages. Can’t wait to keep adding to it as the year progresses! For those interested in learning about  the Bullet Journal, visit the website here. I really love it, because you can customize it as much as you want, and it’s a really good way to relax and focus on one task.

I had a ton of fun with the “Things That Make Me Happy” page I made today! It was a fantastic exercise in mindfulness; because there was so much room for different items, I was forced to really think about the things that make me happy (whether superficial, material, or meaningful). Plus, it’s super colorful, which brings me joy. I have so many ideas for other pages!

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I am SO excited about next weekend! It’s our friend Lawrence’s birthday, so we’re traveling to Greenville, South Carolina to celebrate with him! I have wanted to go to Greenville for a couple of years, so I’m super pumped. That’ll be another new city to add to my list. And we’re also planning a trip to Asheville, North Carolina, for my and our friend Peter’s birthday in mid-June. This is the “Year of ‘Yes’ to Travel,” and I’m making good on that!

Thank you for tuning in! I’ll leave you today with a quote I stumbled across on Pinterest earlier:

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Go forth and have a great week!

Love,
The Crunchy Crusader

What a wonderful whirlwind.

Greetings and salutations! It’s the Crunchy Crusader here. I know it’s been an awfully long while since I last updated, so I’ll get right to it: the last month has been INSANE.

In the span of a little under six weeks, I went to Memphis, experienced my directorial debut, interviewed for and accepted a new job, resigned from my former job, flew to NYC, went to a beautiful wedding ceremony, and started the new job. But I’m getting ahead of myself! Let’s start with my trip to Memphis.

On March 11, 8 ladies and I tore it up in Memphis, Tennessee for my good lady friend Pallavi’s bachelorette party! We dined, we danced at a disco, we visited Graceland, and we enjoyed each other’s company as we celebrated the bride-to-be! 2017 is the “Year of ‘Yes’ to Travel,” so I was super happy to add both Nashville (where we stopped for lunch, but I’m totally counting it) and Memphis to my list of new cities visited.

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Stopped for lunch in Nashville and saw Amy & Sohum!


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It snowed while we were in Memphis!


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Glasses and Bangs Club! We legitimately got asked if we were triplets. 

Graceland was super neat, too!

Exactly a month ago today, “A Murdered Mystery,” my directorial contribution to “A Night of One-Acts 2017” opened! The entire show, consisting of 4 one-acts, was a ton of fun and an incredible learning experience. Not only did I get to get my feet wet before Gatsby this summer; I also had the immense joy of making new friends and having an absolute blast. My cast was made up of some of the funniest, kindest people I’ve ever met, and each of them did their part to bring my vision to life with humor, a keen sense of stage presence, and tactful acting decisions in their own right.

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Levi Witt, Caleb Busie, Natalie Bruce, Megan Robinson, Mat Noland,  and Nikki Sloan in DLT’s “A Murdered Mystery.”

While that was going on, on a lark, I had decided to submit my resume on indeed.com for a position with U.S. Xpress, of which I knew very little other than that they were a trucking company. The job, a public relations position, seemed to fit my qualifications and skill-set, so I said, “What the heck.” I had been applying and interviewing for a couple of months around Dalton, and the opportunities just weren’t the right fit. So, dejected and without confidence, I hit the “submit” button for this job in Chattanooga and didn’t expect to hear anything for a few days.

Approximately half an hour later, I had an email in my inbox from a talent specialist for the company asking me for a phone interview. Fast forward to the week of March 20th, and I had myself a second-round, in-person interview. Fast forward to THE DAY AFTER, and I had a bona-fide job offer. It all happened so incredibly quickly!

My last day at the Downtown Dalton Development Authority was March 31st. My heart absolutely broke to leave my merchants and all of the wonderful people I had the pleasure of working with throughout the community. But an opportunity had presented itself that I could not turn down: I would be the first Public Relations Specialist that U.S. Xpress ever had in its 31-year existence, meaning that I would be building the position from the ground up with a team of equally new employees in a brand-new department. Not to mention, the job is in Chattanooga, which might as well be the other side of the world. I have only ever lived and worked in Dalton, so I was equal parts terrified and thrilled.

After my last day at the DDDA, we went to an 80s-themed birthday party for our friends, Lori Etheridge and Lori Southerland! I teased my hair to high heaven, wore a dress my Nana bought in 1986, and had the time of my life. Billy went as a combination of Bill and Ted from Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. We looked rad!

Since my last day was March 31st and my first day at U.S. Xpress wasn’t until April 10th, I had a week to myself. So what did I do? I flew to New York! My best friend, Grace, and her boyfriend, Damon, graciously opened their home to me for a last-minute, impromptu trip from Sunday to Wednesday. And boy, did I have a ball. It was a more low-key trip, but there was no shortage of excitement and wonder at the big city. I had a chance to explore their digs in Hoboken, NJ, too, which I found charming and lovely.

Damon and I went to the Museum of Modern Art, where I stood 3 feet away from my very favorite painting, Starry Night, the New York Public Library for an exhibit on the history of musical theatre, and the Onassis Center for an exhibit on ancient Greek and Roman art.

AND, we got to see Kevin Kline (one of my favorites) in “Present Laughter,” along with Cobie Smulders and Kristine Nielsen. Though a bit slow at times, I enjoyed every moment. Kevin shone. ❤

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The closest I got to Kevin. I’ll take it. 

And the fooood. I tried Jamaican food. And I had the best cappuccino ever at Empire Coffee & Tea Co. in Hoboken. The best sandwich in the world is also in Hoboken at Fiore’s (the classic Italian combo), which was the sandwich Liz Lemon freaked out about in 30 Rock, which really tickles me. I also enjoyed arguably the best meal I had ever feasted upon at Lupa. Crispy duck with chard and asparagus, and cacio e pepe and  broccoli rob on the side. We also had a scrumptious chocolate and hazelnut dessert of which I can’t remember the name. Grace and I almost had to waddle into our taxi to go to the Upright Citizens Brigade theatre for her improv show, which was fabulous (duh!).

I also got to do some sight-seeing and vintage shop-hopping, which I always enjoy.

We also made our way to the Financial District to see the Fearless Girl.

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The trip came to an end with an 8 pm flight, which turned into a 10 pm flight, which had me touching down in Knoxville around 11:45. It was the most terrifying flight I’ve ever had, in the tiniest plane imaginable. But I made it home in one piece…eventually.

Since I am not familiar with the Knoxville area (side note: I flew out of and back into the Knoxville airport to not only save a considerable chunk of change, but also to avoid Atlanta and the I-85 mess like the plague), I plugged my home address into Google Maps to get me back to Dalton. But instead of taking me to the interstate, which I would have recognized, it took me down some very dark, very curvy back roads. With my phone on 10%, I clenched the steering wheel in terror for a good hour and a half before I made it onto a highway I recognized from our many trips to see my in-laws.

So, it was creeping past 1 am, and, thinking it would be quicker than staying on I-75, I went the back way through Cleveland, TN. MISTAKE. Because, lo and behold, what do I see in my rear-view as I’m passing through the postage stamp-sized City of Varnell? That’s right: one of the city’s probably 4 police officers flashing his blues at me. He swaggered over to my driver’s side window, shone his flashlight in my face…and informed me that my tag was expired. Billy and I had COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN to renew it on his birthday at the end of December. Whoops.

So he wrote me a ticket. Resigned to my fate, I signed on the line and took my miserable butt back home, where I collapsed into bed, too tired to change into my pajamas.

The next day, I ventured down to Calhoun for a lovely luncheon for my dear friend, Pallavi, the day before her wedding. We witnessed a ceremony of married ladies blessing the bride-to-be and had mehndi (henna) applied on our hands. Then we sat down to a yummy lunch!

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The day after that, we witnessed a gorgeous traditional Hindu wedding ceremony (in Sanskrit!) and watched as two of my favorite people got hitched! Pallavi was stunning, and her beau, Peter, surprised her by dressing in traditional clothing (complete with a sword and all). The reception was a ball, with more delicious food and dancing (with a few Bollywood songs thrown in, which was some of the most fun I’ve ever had).

Saturday and Sunday were spent recuperating from the revelry. Monday, April 10th, was my very first day with U.S. Xpress, the nation’s largest privately-owned truckload carrier (I have that spiel down now). The first day was spent in orientation, where I learned all about the company and its objectives. From my second day on, I have hit the ground running and have gotten to know my coworkers. I’ve graduated to a team of 5, with the VP of Corporate Communications as the big boss, a Communications Manager under her, and then me (Public Relations Specialist), a Social Media Specialist, and a Graphic Designer.

I am still adjusting to the 40-minute commute, compounded with the mental strain of processing a new job, getting up two hours earlier than I’m used to, AND working out every day during my lunch break. Yes, you read that correctly! Your girl is on a treadmill for 30 minutes every day at lunch. I never thought I’d see the day. I’m making sure to get my 10,000 steps in every day, and have been successful!

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My view every day at lunch. I use the 30 minutes to get some power-walking in and catch up on some reading. 

In any case, though I am very tired, I am loving every moment. My meal planning is back on track, I’m sleeping well, and I’m feeling great. Hope you’ve enjoyed the update, and I am going to make a concerted effort not to lapse for this long again! Thank you, as always, for taking the time to follow me on My Crunchy Crusade.

Cheers!
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